


Rise of the Marauders

by Fangirl_Avenger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Gay Remus Lupin, Harry Potter - Freeform, Marauder's Era, Multi, Prequel, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Angst, Slow Burn, Werewolf Remus Lupin, gay angst, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29678502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_Avenger/pseuds/Fangirl_Avenger
Summary: Remus Lupin never thought that with his condition it would be possible for him to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but the renowned Albus Dumbledore had other ideas, and will not let such a bright spark go to waste. Remus soon befriends James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, and together they form an unbreakable bond as the marauders, the most infamous pranksters and talented wizards Hogwarts has ever seen. However, with friends like James and Sirius, so observant and gifted, Remus fears the day when his excuses for his disappearances each full moon are no longer believed, and with hormones raging how long will he be able to deny his obvious attraction to a boy who's 'just a friend.'Things to note-I will try be going by the cannon events, so the gang won't find out about Lupin until second year, and also this will be a slowburn wolfstar, so it will take them a while to figure out their emotions. I am a teenager and have no romantic experience whatsoever, so bear that in mind
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4
Collections: Love me some good secretive stuffs with a big reveal





	1. Summer 1971- Introduction

The darkness was what reminded him of it first, not so much as a crack of light seeping under a door or a muffled glow through the old linen curtains breaking the impenetrable black shadow that seemed to powerfully engulf the room. It always took a while for him to recover from that murky sense of confusion, his thoughts slow and strained as his animalistic brain slow morphed back into his natural, competent one. He never felt quite himself the day after, as if his system still quite hadn't managed to yet draw the line between the distinctions of his two personas, the welcome and the unwelcome. Some traits never faded however, changed forever by a night he would give anything to reverse, even just for the sake of his family, and even though he looked quite human, the deep scar that dug into his upper leg and his uncomfortably powerful sense of smell were always lingering reminders that he never would be truly normal again, an undeniable truth that caused so much pain.

It was a full moon last night, he remembered, his sluggish thoughts beginning to become somewhat sensical. That was the only reason he'd find himself locked in this prison cell of a room, lying curled up in the corner of the floor like some sort of animal, which was an accurate description no matter how much he wished it wasn't. He prized his heavy eyes open with much more effort than it should've taken, groaning deeply as he sat up, wishing he could go back into that confused state of oblivion where he didn't notice the agonising, wrenching pain that tore at every muscle he had. Part of him just wanted to curl up and cry, stay here and wallow in the misery of this abomination of a life he forced himself through each and every day without gaining an ounce of satisfaction. They wouldn't come in yet without a sign, even if the moon had long fallen; that had been made clear by previous occasions. They didn't trust the monster he held inside, and rightly so. They probably didn't even trust him, and the truth was he couldn't hold too much blame to that either.

Remus forced himself to his feet, using the nearby wall and cold door to support his weight. As he stood, body shaking unsteadily as if he had temporarily lost the ability to walk, he found hinself becoming acutely aware of the throbbing in his right leg and the droplets of blood trickling out of the agonising wound. It was easy to assume that it hadn't been a good night; after all, there hadn't been one that would be passable as such in a long time, the hunger seeming to grow towards instantiable as puberty kicked in, his wolf developing in sync with his body. At first the transformations were undesirable but bearable. While it still wasn't safe to be loose around people, the little cub didn't have enough teeth to make enormous damage, instead causing more of a racket than anything else, howling relentlessly and running frantically around its cell like the hyperactive child whose soul it forcefully shared. As it grew, though, the hunger got steadily worse, and the lack of prey caused the wolf to turn on the only living thing in its presence; itself. Remus's body was riddled with scars, all of which remaining stubbornly visible even after his form morphed, and the vicious anger that seemed to bubble inside him ensured they were deep enough to never heal of their own accord. 

He winced as he reached up and flicked the cold metal switch, high enough for the wolf not to wreak havoc to the feeble electric system, squinting at the sudden wave of unnatural light. Once his eyes adjusted he dared to look around at the night's results, becoming suddenly knowledgeable of his lack of clothing. Reluctantly he scanned the ground, the mound of shredded clothing bringing a heaving sigh to his chest. It must've been a close call getting him into the room if he didn't even have time to change out of the fabrics that would do longer suit his shape minutes later. The deep dents in the enforced metal door he stood propped against notified him the wolf had been particularly vicious, which meant an expectable wave of exhaustion would overcome him any minute now. He hobbled over to the metal press in the corner, metal like everything had to be in this 'containment facility' of a cell, relieved to find a set of clothes experience had warranted them having prepared. He changed quickly, knowing any minute his aunt would come to release him, the light coordinated with the safe timing letting her know he had regained control of his body and mind. Remus was just about to finish the last button on his frayed shirt when his legs buckled beneath him, eyes flickering closed as exhaustion came over him like a ton of concrete bricks, progressing so quickly that he barely felt himself touch the cold, hard floor....

* * *

When Remus next woke he was in his bedroom, curtains drawn to dampen the streaming light that was no longer desirable, and he yawned as he sat up, the lightly placed blanket that lay over his aching body falling in a heap to the floor. Noticeably blue stitches held together the deep gashes into his arms and legs, the limbs proving the easiest culprits for the wolf's abuse, and while the work was certainly nothing near medical standard, the bleeding seemed to have ceased, and that was an achievement in itself. Just looking at the wounds sent a shiver down his spine; how could he have done this to himself? What was he really like in that other state? He never remembered. It was if during that time he functioned with a different brain, a more primal brain, or at least a separate, unrecognizable section of it. He didn't refer to the wolf as part of him in his mind; it couldn't be. It was more like an imposter, a demon that possessed his body, mutating it into a suitable host for the night. But it was him. He was the monster, and the unthinkable truth was that he feared himself.

He still felt weak, not trusting himself to attempt to stand up while still in such a bad state. The sleep always helped, hopefully hurrying along the necessary healing, and rest was all that was on the agenda today, as ever. The summer holidays were always a relief; he didn't have to worry about hiding injuries a school or trying to return as soon as possible. A lecture regarding his uselessness and how much of a burden to the family he posed from his uncle was expected, but the selective hearing Remus had eventually developed eased that pain, and it wasn't as if the words were untrue.

He had ruined their whole lives, and was helpless as to do anything about it.

It would've had to be a big shock, to go from a newly married happy couple to the legal guardians of a six year old child with certain... peculiarities. They couldn't have known about his other side at first; he highly doubted his mother would've divulged such sensitive information to her cynical sister, who never seemed to be able to grasp the concept that Remus hadn't chosen this life, or to be dumped with them in the first place. Still, she was going to take out her own life failures on him no matter what he said, and it wasn't as if he had anywhere else to flee to.

No matter how tempting the concept became, he couldn't run away, and it was all because of the safety of that little room. Out on the streets his wolf would be free to roam and claim whatever prey was at its disposal. He would have nowhere to lock himself up, restrain himself so he couldn't escape, and once he transformed his thoughts and actions were no longer his own. He would have no recollection of whatever pain he had caused, and the thought chilled him to the core. 

So he endured. Stayed even when his uncle took a drunken turn, and couldn't care enough to find an ashtray when there was a suitable substitute of flesh sitting right before his eyes. He had nothing to be complaining about, Remus always told himself. There was a roof over his head, he had food, enough books to occupy his frantic mind, and however dismal of an effort she made, his aunt always catered to his wounds while he slept the morning after, keeping them mostly clear from infection with bandages and alcohol. He wanted for nothing.

Nothing except perhaps love, affection and a sense of belonging, but the older he got, the more he became convinced they were things that only existed in fantasy. He was doomed for a life of nothing but misery, with no money to get qualifications necessary for a desirable job, and too many absent days to have any hope at a scholarship, no matter how powerful his intellect. Even if he managed to get a steady income, the inevitable missed days would ensure no jobs would remain for long. With no prospects in any other life department, it seemed love would be the only thing that could possible make his life at all worthwhile, but who would love a monster? Some days he wondered why he kept living this purposeless life.

He knew why, though. Hope. That niggling brightness that hadn't quite been extinguished by his self-destructive tendencies just yet. Part of him still believed he had a chance. Maybe he was this way for a reason. Maybe he had a purpose in this world. Maybe being a werewolf wasn't the only thing that mattered about him, that defined him.

He had no idea of the durastic changes that lay ahead when he heard a sharp knock at the door. His close proximity to the front hallway meant he heard his aunt's light footsteps on the creaky floor as she went to answer it, the keys jangle in the lock as they twisted it open, and the groaning of the stiff hinge as the house was opened up to the world.

"Good evening, may I help you?" Sylvia asked uncertainly, whatever she was seeing clearly startling her ever so slightly, not that her rigidly enforced life of perfection made a unaccepted sight uncommon; even if she refused to talk much of Remus's mother, the one clear deduction he could make was that she had certainly differentiated from the 'norm' in her lifestyle choices, and in her sister's eyes marrying the mysterious Lyall Lupin was the biggest disgrace of all. Remus's lycanthropy had never allowed him to feel normal, but he couldn't help but feel that wasn't the only way his existence challenged accepted normalities. The shadow of mystery cast over his father's life was one he wanted nothing more than to illuminate. 

When the response of this curious character came, Remus couldn't help but notice the vague familiarity, like it was unearthing a childhood memory he had long buried. He sat up in the bed, ignoring the self-inflicted pain, listening desperately for an answer to come. Could he be here for him, like some sort of strange guardian angel? Untamed longing was all that fuelled that crazy leap of thoughts, and it was a theory quickly discarded by the young cynic, who doubted God would allow the creation of monsters like him, if he truly sat in a throne in heaven, surveying and influencing the world. With all the stupidity aside, there was still a vague, undying hope that this man could be his ticket to escape, couldn't he? Remus quietened his thoughts as he waited.

"Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore, and I've come to speak to you about your dear nephew Mr Lupin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi stranger who happens to stumble across this! As a big harry potter nerd I just couldn't help but give this addictive trop a go! I will try update as much as I can, never any longer of a wait than two weeks, hopefully only one. Big thank you to anyone who gives this story a chance, I'll try my best to make it worth it! If you'd like more make sure to check me out on wattpad; @FangirlAvenger (couldn't get the exact same username on here unfortunately.) Thanks again! I'll be surprised if anyone reads this at all, please drop a comment about what you think if you do!  
> -Fangirl_Avenger


	2. Summer 1971- The Hogwarts Express

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time for our marauders to meet! What will their first impressions be?

"Sirius Orion Black, what are you gawking at! You make a shame of our noble family!"

Sirius was hardly phased by the statement; he had been the disappointment all his life, and was getting so settled into the role he didn't see the point in striving to change it. Perhaps for a deluded period of his youth he had tried to conform to his mother's idea of a suitable son, longing for some glimpse of the affection he was starved from, but he soon learned it just wasn't a thing that existed in his cold hierarchy of a clan, and from the moment he began to form opinions that differed from their concreted views, he knew it wasn't worth the effort.

He felt he had good reason to be so overcome by the platform, even if there was nothing too remarkable about it. It wasn't the material view that hit him, but what it brought him. Freedom. Hogwarts was his getaway, his chance to create a person unaffected from his poisonous relatives, to become something that wasn't conformed to the Black family name. He had dreamed of this day so often is probably unhealthy, and the irony was certainly there; school shouldn't have appealed to his trouble maker persona in the slightest, except as an outlet to cause chaos. He wasn't the diligent student, putting innumerable effort into everything. By no means was he unintelligent, and the predictable Black concern for reputation ensured that his first year was practically not worth attending at all, the.... leverage that forced him into attending his tutor sessions also applying to his attention span. Maybe he didn't see himself in an academic light, but this school meant so much more than that. There was time to endure before he reached the freeing age of 18, but no longer endless days and nights of the Black family home that he loathed only slightly less than the people residing in it. Of course he loved Regulus, even if he feared the walls around his mind weren't quite like those of Sirius, more susceptible to the pure-blooded preachings. Sirius would never let himself abandon his little brother, but there would come a day for him to spread his wings and fly without looking back, and he hoped it was soon.

Sirius could hear the tutting erupting from his mother's evil mouth, and that just made him wait longer, absorbing every sight and sound he could. He wasn't a dog that could be trained to heal, he was his own person, and that was a fact he was sure to be reinforcing from now on. He took a deep breath, honing in on everything individually, from the creaking of trolly wheels as they ground across the rougher concrete patches of the platform, to the heartfelt goodbyes of the children with the pleasure of parents capable of love, all the way to the glinting light that reflected against the shiny nine and three quarters sign that gave way to a whole new life. From this moment he was no longer a Black, or one of the many dutiful children named after stars like any other system was inappropriate or shameful. Sirius smiled as he drew his attention painfully back to the disgusting woman who had now resorted to stomping her foot angrily like she was deranged, the sharp soles of her boots clicking impatiently against the solid ground, boots that had met too many times with the skin of his cheek in her particularly vicious moods for the sound not to make him at least mildly uncomfortable.

"Honestly Sirius, I expected better. Do you know what a fool you appear to be at this moment, staring at some muggle technology like that! Ridiculous! I don't understand why the school don't just use flu powder like normal wizarding folk do, so much more convenient." Her hissing tone subsided as she resumed her usual critiques, which would've bored him more if the relief of no longer being prime target wasn't welcome. He sighed, rolling his eyes at her pig-headedness.

"Because _mother,_ " Sirius began exasperatedly, "not all wizards live in wizarding families. Muggleborns would have no way of coming if they had no fireplace and they could get transported elsewhere since they aren't used to it. The same goes for half-bloods who don't live with their magical connections. The world isn't just purebloods, even if it is in your head." Her gaze was cold and condescending, words hanging in the air, and if they weren't in such a public setting he knew what her response would've truly been.

"The truth still remains that this school has gone to the dogs, and you know it Sirius, especially since that Dumbledore took over. Your father and I were half-minded to send you to Drumstrang, much more well-regulated and better standards of the students they except. Hogwarts is merely convenience, and of course we wouldn't abandon the noble house of Salazar, or blame him for the unfortunate characters he partnered with. You shall have your cousins here also, and after some quality time with them hopefully they're behaivour will assist your maturity.@ Forced integration was a classic Black family technique for making practically all their children into insufferable clones, parroting parents opinions like their own heads were just empty cavities not capable of differentiation at all. It was a clever, manipulative but clever, idea though; after all, the more alike they all were, the less problems there would be with the forced inbreeding so many blood-obsessed families had implemented for centuries. Yet another reason to escape while it was still an option; he didn't want a child who was also his fourth cousin twice removed, or a wife likewise. The crisscrosses wisely weren't shown on the family tree, a wise decision for once.

The truth was Sirius liked Dumbledore. He had naturally not met the man yet, but pictures and stories were enough to show that while he was somewhat rigid and regimental, he was also accepting, and even if that wasn't something that affected him with his glowing bloodstatus he'd give up in a heartbeat, possessing traits of natural human decency that he wished his family would adapt earned some respect automatically. Not only that, but that mysterious twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes accompanied by that half-smile always created that sense of a troublemaker, discreetly hidden perhaps, but always scheming behind the facade. That was what interested Sirius most of all.

"Maybe you and father are just too ignorant and old-fashioned to accept change, or the fact that the family beliefs you mindlessly accepted might actually be wrong?" Sirius gazed up at his mother with a look of pure innocence, yet his eyes challenged her clearly. He took a step closer, narrowing his gaze as he prepared to make the statements he longed to for so long. "I won't be part of your pure-blood charade or follow your stupid rules. Threaten to disown me all you like, it would be more of a blessing than a curse. I'll see you soon, mother dearest, and believe me I'll give you plenty better reasons to lecture me than staring at a train." He smiled as the train signalled the near departure and he made his way to the Hogwarts Express, leaving his mother startled and alone, shrugging her fur carpet of a shall into place as she stomped off like a spoiled child.

* * *

Sirius glanced from side to side as he made his way through the corridors, his almost late arrival ensuring most of the compartments were already filled. I'll sit anywhere but with my cousins, he vowed to himself, depressed by the truth that they'd have enough time to poison his mind when he was forced into their house. Just the thought of wearing the Slytherin crest made him sick. It wasn't really anything to do with the house itself, even if it partially was, the shared traits uniting the students under the emblem openly considered unwelcome by many, but more so it was the feeling of hopelessness, giving in to yet another Black family tradition. He wasn't going to be anywhere near that dungeon if he could help it, and he certainly hoped he could.

His steps quickened as he came nearer the end of the train, chances of being spotted and forced into the mingling that their parents would've undoubtedly encouraged growing higher, and he almost didn't notice the quiet compartment third last to the end, only two boys within its embrace, both appearing decent enough companions. The first was mousy and sort of feeble, drumming his fingers uncomfortably on his lap as his gaze darted two and fro. It didn't seem like the other boy's company was causing the obvious discomfort, his kind chatter seeming to soothe the anxious boy's restless behaivour like a good friend would.

The second of the pair certainly bore more confidence, but not in an obnoxious way exactly, though it was likely he could turn that way in the right circumstances. He had messy black hair and strangely round glasses, which suggested muggle heritage even if his ease in the surroundings and the chocolate frog cards he flicked through in his hands didn't. He seemed a good sort, but their was that familiar sense of mischief about him that brought a smile to Sirius's face. Now this he could work with.

"Is it a'right if I join yous? Everywhere else is almost full to bursting point." He kept his tone casual, the clipped speaking expected by his mother no longer necessary, much to his relief, even if he had a habit of slipping into it unconsciously at this stage. The kind nod of what he hoped was a potential chaos-creating companion was an admitted relief, even if it was just to escape the tight grips of relatives he had such tight chains to for so long.

"My name's James Potter," the boy told him, smiling welcomingly, "and this here is Peter Pettigrew." Peter nodded jerkily, smiling weakly as if sure what else to do.

"Potter?" Sirius asked, the name striking recognition with him. "Pretty sure you were on my mother's list of 'blood traitor families not to communicate with.'" The seriousness in his tone was a bit cruel, as was the awkward silence that caused Peter to shift uncertainly, and James to look him in the eye with a determination that showed there was a retort soon coming. Sirius broke it all with a cheeky grin, lightning his voice considerably. "That just makes things better. Another way to rebel from her stupid ideas. I think we'll get along just fine." The tension eased considerably after that, the comfortable laughter inviting Sirius to sit down. Conversation was quick and effortless, arguments over quidditch dominating most of it, leaving Peter a bit overshadowed, James soon noticing and swapping to a more universal topic.

"What house do you think you'll be in Sirius?" James asked, Sirius's eyes visibly darkening at the question. He'd though about it enough already, and didn't want to dwell and the inevitable much more, but rudeness wasn't good when you finally had a ticket to your own identity standing right in front of you. 

"Well-" Sirius was just beginning the confession when there was a knock on the carriage door. A girl and a boy entered, the girl certainly more respectful as she spoke up than him, who seemed about to barge in of his own accord before her hand held him back. 

"Can we join yous? We'll talk amongst ourselves, its just the room next-door is so loud my head was spinning, and the flashes of spells made it clear it was a good time to go." Sirius wasn't quite sure what to say, reminding himself it was James's carriage technically, not his, and opting not to reply.

"Sure," James replied nonchalantly, trying his best to hide his wide eyes as they followed her in, and the vaguest trace of a blush that laced his cheeks. Sirius had a feeling macho Potter was going to make an arrival any minute now. She smiled gratefully, contrasting with the assessing look of her greasy-haired 'friend' who still stood with his arms crossed in the doorway. She sighed heavily.

"Severus!" she groaned, glaring angrily in a way that drew attention to the puffy red eyes that her curtain of wavy hair had temporarily made unimportant. He remained stony faced and stubborn.

"Do you want me to come in?" he replied in an almost emotionless way, clearly guilt tripping her. She relented, screwing her eyes shut for a moment as she shook her head. A glare from Severus was enough for the boys to look away, shifting a bit closer together as they babbled nonsensically, James attention clearly occupied on hidden eavesdropping and not the quidditch they had reverted back to discussing, completely contradicting some of his former opinions. 

"You have to remember Severus, she's my sister!" Lily urged, pain clear in her voice. 

"She's only a muggle" He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him. It was an idiotic thing to say, certainly not gaining a good reputation in Sirius's mind. The closeness he clearly had to Lily also gave Sirius a sense that there would be much head-banging with James, if his new friend retained his obvious opinion of the clever-seeming witch.

"But we're going!" Severus said quickly, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

She nodded, mopping her eyes, but in spite of herself, she half smiled.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," said Snape, encouraged that she had brightened a little.

"Slytherin?"

James finally made his presence known once again, the snort accompanying his statement making his opinion pretty obvious. Sirius had a feeling the real James Potter wasn't quite this abraisive, but his ego brough out this sight around girls for sure. 

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" James asked the Sirius, who sat up a bit from his lounging on the seat. It was clear James expected a laugh of agreement, but Sirius didn't smile.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," he said grumpily, sighing as the unwanted truth entered the world.

"Blimey," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

Sirius grinned hopefully, a new determination in his bones. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James lifted an invisible sword."'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him swiftly, pride clearly wounded. "Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" interjected Sirius, his smart tongue and usual quips brought to the forefront in the moment.. James roared with laughter, giving Sirius a sort of comforting satisfaction. He wasn't insecure, but the assurance of some sort of friendship wasn't unwelcome. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in obvious dislike. Her gaze softened slightly on Peter, who had taken to an idle daydream if his expression was to go by, but it didn't alter her premeditated decision.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Oooooo..." James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice, James attempting to trip Snape as he passed.

"See ya, Snivellus!" a voice called, as the compartment door slammed, followed by laughter.

"Good Godrick, that guy seems like a piece of work," James mused bitterly, rolling his eyes as he relaxed back again. 

"You're right there," Sirius replied with a slight groan, Peter nodding in consensus as if it was some sort of requirement. Sirius yawned, becoming aware of the stiffness in his legs. "I'm going to take a walk in the corridor," he told James, getting a shrug in response as he made his way into the pathway, family on his mind instantly until he spotted a boy getting shoved out of a compartment so hard he rebounded into the wall.

Sirius rushed over, not quite sure what to make of the situation or the boy, a niggling feeling in his gut telling him to help. Usually he kept to himself, but the pain in this boy's expression reminding him to much of Regulus's after a beating that Sirius was usually the incentive for, and as the guilt piled he couldn't just turn away. He held out his hand to the frail figure, trying not to notice the scars revealed as the unkempt fall shifted the legs of his trousers up. Scars were something he could relate to growing up in a house of literal child torturers. Sometimes you didn't even have to misbehave to earn the searing pain that the magic made sure would never fade away.

The boy stumbled to his feet quick enough, expression pained with what could be presumed as more than just injuries from the fall, but still grateful.

"Thanks," he replied, doing his best to hide his weak by leaning against the wall. Sirius pursed his lips awkwardly for a moment, opting to lighten the mood.

"Guess you picked the wrong carriage to sit in, huh?" Sirius stated, sarcasm laced into his tone. The boy laughed vaguely, clearly becoming more comfortable in the company that minutes before. 

"I guess I did...." he trailed off a bit, bringing himself back to reality with a sharp blink, a blush forming. "Sorry. I spent a lot of my childhood alone, I'm not the best at socialising." It was true; if muggle school was anything to go by, people never wanted the shame of associating with a smart person, so why bother learning social skills you weren't going to use? Recluse life suited him down to the ground, or at least that was what he had convinced himself after years of lonely pain. 

"It's fine, I know all about deserted childhoods." The bitter town was there again, every conversation always linking back to the same people he'd seemily escaped from, at least in his dreams. Would it always be like this?

"I'm Remus Lupin," the boy told him, offering out a hand uncertainly, then retracting it with a blush, as if it had been a stupid thing to do. To Sirius though there were no set rules in interaction, and if Remus rathered formal so be it.

"Sirius Black." Sirius held out his hand, giving a half smile, and as they shook relief visibly washed over Lupin's features. This person didn't seem too awful compared to some of the monsters he'd fell across in his search for a welcoming first year carriage, and while not all were violent, the good ones were so bursting with people that so many eyes watching your entrance would've been to much for the introvert to bear. "Why don't you come to this carriage with me, the lads I've met seem nice enough, and I've a feeling we might all blend together nicely." Sirius wasn't used to being this kind, most of his interactions being retorts to.... family. That was going to change though. _I'm not going to be like them,_ Sirius re-itterated in his mind, _and if being nice when people give me no reason to be anything else is a way of being a better person than them, I'm doing it._

He didn't know how much Remus's heart swelled as they walked down together, or how fast his heart was thudding. Prehaps Hogwarts wasn't just like any other school after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading if you happen to stumble upon this! I really really appreciate it. I don't know much about ao3 so if there's any collections you think I should add this to or tags I should include please comment! Please share if you like the story, and thanks again strange person!


	3. First Year- The Marauders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our marauders are finally meeting, but how will it go?

Remus really had picked the wrong carriage.

If only he had been able to cease his jittering nerves, cloak his obvious bewilderment at every conversation, and just hide behind his book and paint up his quietness as simple unsocialability, perhaps he would've been able to remain for the journey. But he hadn't even brought a book to bury his thoughts in, all too far away locked up in his trunk, and now he was deeply regretting his own method of forced socialisation.

How was he to know these wizards' opinion of muggles? It wasn't a topic discussed anywhere he could read, the blatant discrimination in it obviously being the reason. He knew from their uniform what house they were in; Slytherin, the house for those who were cunning, ambitious, and arguably old fashioned. Remus had fallen across passages on their house patron, Salazar Slytherin, while reading Hogwarts a History, which Dumbledore had kindly given him to answer questions his short visit didn't allow, and was aware of Salazar's opinion of blood status, but not that it extended to those in his house as well. Their statement had been cruel and harsh while accusing him of being a muggleborn, and his explanation of being a half-blood, raised by muggles had only made their responses more vicious.

"You're a disgrace, you nasty little blood- traitor," the sneering girl had announced as she rose to her feet with a frightening sense of power, grabbing him by the shirt and spitting in his face as the others hoisted open the door so he was shoved into the corridor, left humiliated and alone.

If this was how they treated those without fully magical blood, he couldn't begin to imagine how they'd treat someone inflicted with lycanthropy. 

His newer seating companions seemed much less judgemental, but he was reluctant to speak for fear of spilling out something foolish. He could tell by how much of the conversation that baffled him they were certainly not new to this world like him. No, they were Wizarding born and raised, and as Remus gazed out the window, watching the colourful flashes of Scottish countryside as the blurred out of sight all too quickly, he wondered if he'd ever find anyone who would accept him. It was looking less likely with every passing minute. 

"You alright mate?" A vaguely posh, even if the wording contradicted it, yet casual and soothing voice broke him out of his frantic worrying. Remus blinked as he brought hhimself back down to reality, nodding uncertainly as he drew his attention to the group.

"Sorry." Remus scratched his head sheepishly, smiling weakly as he tried to explain himself. " All this... it's just a lot to take in. I practically know nothing. I've never really been the social type, always comfortable to navigate things myself I guess, but I'm just lost. It's not like I've been faced with any big challenges or anything, but even the confusion at conversations or at what's gonna happen once we leave the train... it's just all a bit much I guess...." He trailed off, a slight blush creeping to his face as he realised his fatal error; he'd just admitted his muggle life to a bunch of wizards who so clearly weren't. _Well done Remus,_ he scolded internally. _So much for staying quiet and having a chance at friendships once you've caught up on the knowledge end._ He sighed, certain of having to find another carriage, not expecting to find consoling expressions when he dared to raise his gaze.

"It's us who should been saying sorry," James replied, shaking his head. "We should've noticed how out of sorts you were and tried to help, not leave you out like that. It wasn't fair." Sirius nodded in agreement, Peter murmuring sympathetically.

"So you're a muggleborn then Remus?" Peter asked, getting a sigh from James. Peter looked over at his friend in confusion. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"That shouldn't make any difference Peter," James replied bitterly. "I'm not giving out to you, but it's always the first thing people ask. Dad says it just isn't right. There's much more to a person than blood status, so why is it seen as so important to know? It doesn't make any sense. Muggleborn or not, it makes no difference." Remus couldn't help but feel himself warming to this proud, confident, yet somewhat troublesome character. He certainly had a Wizarding upbringing, but didn't hold it against those who didn't. Perhaps not all hope was lost yet.

The guilt welling in Peter's eyes turned Remus's stomach.

"It's fine Peter, I know you didn't mean it that way," Remus assured, and it was honest. Peter didn't seem that type of person. Quiet, nervous, and fragile, he didn't seem like the type who would even hurt a mouse, and the kindness that seemed to lie beneath it all made him a genuine, warm person. Some could say he seemed a lot like Remus, and on the outside it seemed true, but the inside lay differently. For Peter quietness was nature, for Remus it was a choice.

Secrets and lies never took anyone far in friendship, and that condemned Remus to lonliness first go.

Peters face softened at his words, the wavering smile returning as he plucked some sort of sweet out of his pocket, fiddling for a moment as if to soothe his shaking hands before peeling off the crinkling wrapper and popping it in his mouth. When the sucking sound became too awkward to listen to Remus knew it was his job to break the ice.

"No, I'm not a muggleborn, but I might as well be." Remus sighed deeply. For years he'd wondered restlessly what life wouldve been like if his real parents were still alive. In his imagination they were good, kind, honest people, their love for him unaffected by his condition, but logical Remus had never fully bought into that fantasy. He could never be loved. Nobody could love a monster.

Learning his father was a wizard certainly opened all new chains of thought for Remus. The existence of werewolves wouldn't have been as abominable to someone already aware of magic, but did it make their relationship better or worse? Did he understand, care for his son regardless, or was he horrified, thinking of him as a lesser creature? It was impossible to know now, and questions tore at Lupin's soul so viciously it felt as if it would break with the strain.

"I never knew much about my parents. They died when I was quite young, and I grew up with my aunt and uncle. they were both muggles. I had no idea my Dad was a wizard until Dumbledore came and told me."

The widening of eyes told him instantly that he'd said something wrong.

"Dumbledore visited you?!" Peter exclaimed. "He went himself?! That never happens, not even with muggleborns! Why did he come? What's he like in person?" Quietness and shyness were certainly lost in Peter's overload of questions, and Remus gulped as he tried to formulate answers. _this is why you stick to yourself!_ he scolded again. _No chances to give it all away. If they find out you're gone!_ Hogwarts was his only chance at a good life, and here he was, seconds from having it all thrown away if suspicions were raised too high.

"I don't know?" It wasn't meant to come out sounding like a question, but it did and Remus was helpless as to changing it. He wanted to stop panicking, but his mind kept jumping to the worst scenario, that of more and more evidence piling up until the whole school knew and he was done for, either locked up like the animal he was or forced back into a mortal world he felt more out of place in than ever.

When he met Sirius's gaze, and the understanding in it, he almost crumpled with relief.

"I heard sometimes he does that with orphans, especially if he knew the parents," Sirius replied nonchalantly, everything about his motions making it all so believable that it was almost frightening to watch. "Seemily he believes it's harder for them, that it all needs more explanation, so he goes himself if he can." It was clear that Peter was invested in the lie, James comfortingly convinced, perhaps not entirely but enough to avoid trouble, and Remus had to restrain the urge to leap to his feet and hug Sirius right there and then. In fact, the idea seemed a bit too enticing, but to a social reject it just seemed like the normal reaction of relief, even if it might not have been.

Houses was the next topic of conversation, as it always seemed to be with first year encounters, and it was one Remus eased into comfortably now he knew more about his companions. James certainly seemed like the stereotypical Gryffindor, with his underlying macho bravery and pride that Remus had a feeling would certainly take over where girls were concerned, and a sense of chivalry too. Of course his love for trouble couldn't be ignored, which became apparent as he told tales of his father's time in Hogwarts.

"My uncle bets I can outdo my father on the troublesome front, and I'm taking it as a challenge," James announced with a devilish grin, one Sirius soon matched.

"Who doesn't love a bit of trouble? Especially where karma and revenge are concerned." Those triumphant looks were enough to tell Remus he would be spending a fair degree of time alone with Peter in the evening while his friends endured their well- deserved detention stints.

Friends? Was that what they were to him? Part of him felt like he had no right to claim the three as such, but even after such a short time it already felt like the right label for them all. Even if their personalities were varied, some more alike than others, already they seemed to compliment each other in some unfathomable way. 

Was it foolish to hope he had found his forever friends already? He wasn't sure, but he was certainly going to cherish the fantasy while it lasted.

"Any clue where you'll be, Remus?" Sirius asked, lounging back in the seat casually, as if he owned the whole train. Remus shrugged, even though it was a matter he had given a fair bit of thought.

"Seemily my Dad was a ravenclaw, that's all I really know. Think I might follow, 'cause I am a bit of a bookish type." Ravenclaw was a decent house from what he had grasped, their common studious nature making them a competitive but comfortingly united group. 

"It's likely." Sirius nodded, sighing. "Guess there isn't much of a chance of us all ending up together, is there? James is clearly a brave one, you're clever as anything, and my stupid family have condemmened me to Slytherin. Then Peter could be anywhere really, probably hufflepuff to me, but certainly not Slytherin. So I'll be alone with my cousins, forced to be with the very people I'm here to escape from." His tone was filled with resentment and anger, and it was clear he wanted nothing more but to escape his family's clutches. 

"Don't count your eggs before they hatch," Remus told him, parroting one of the phrases his old muggle teacher had used consistently, both to tackle misery and premature joy, as if feeling almost lifeless was better than building up happiness too soon. It was clear by the way Sirius's eyebrows furrowed in confusion that wizards spoke differently. Yet another thing he had to adapt to. 

"What?" Sirius asked, so baffled Remus almost laughed.

"Its a muggle expression. It basically means don't decide on the result before it happens I guess."

It was clear Sirius still didn't quite get it.

"Why not just say what you mean then? Would be a lot simpler." Remus shook his head, a smile emerging on his previously pained face.

"Its just a way of getting you to think differently, comparing it to something else. It basically means just because you have a load of eggs, doesn't mean you'll have the same amount of chicks hatching. Some could die-"

"Isn't that just cheery," Sirius interjected, earning a snort from James.

"- and you won't have the same amount you thought you would. It's an idiom. It just shows that you have to let things play out."

Sirius grinned, previous anger discarded. "Alright Mr Dictionary, we get it. Still think it's a weird thing to say though. No offence, but I'll never understand muggles." Remus couldn't help but laugh at his apparent bewilderment.

"Come on, we better change into our robes," James told them, still chuckling a bit. "We don't want to be late getting off." 

"No we don't," Sirius agreed, "especially if it means bumping into my cousins." He shuddered at the thought, and Remus couldn't help but sympathise with the lack of affection he seemed to feel towards his family. "Let's get ready. Time is gallons after all." Remus's eyes widened at the statement, Sirius boasting a cheeky grin once again.

"You did know what I was talking about!" Sirius shrugged.

"Hadn't heard that one before, but I knew what you meant, it was just fun acting confused." Perhaps it was rude behaviour, and at another time, with his lack of knowledge taken advantage of Remus may have felt some kind of anger, but as he looked into those bewitching grey eyes, twinkling with divilment, he couldn't help but laugh.

"We're almost there!" Peter announced nervously, breaking the moment and bringing back reality as they started to fetch robes and pick up strewn sweet wrappers that the trolley always made inevitable. Soon they were all prepared, and as James began to idly chat with Peter about the hometown they both seemed to share, Remus felt the urge to comfort Sirius, who's somewhat stormy expression showed the hole of thought he had fallen into.

"You're family don't change who you are Sirius," Remus told him, wanting nothing more than to see a smile on that face again. "Just because they were in Slytherin doesn't mean you will be."

"Doesn't it?" Sirius replied sourly. "They're my parents. They're apart of me. I can't change that." 

"Maybe genetically yeah, but that has nothing to do with you as a person. How you act, how you treat others, your personality, that's all you, you as a person. From what I can tell you're family aren't good people, but you clearly are. Be who you want to be Sirius. Don't let them hold you back. A house doesn't define you, so don't let it." 

For a moment the silence was uncomfortable, but Sirius's calmer expression and agreeing nod made it all worthwhile.

"You're right," he said confidently. "This is my chance to be who i want to be, and the Blacks can fuck off." He turned to the gang with a smile. "So what if we aren't together. We don't need to be in the same house to cause trouble." James grinned eagerly at the words.

"Well thank Merlin for that. What fun would it be wreaking havoc on my own?" Even if Peter seemed a bit worried at the prospect, though somewhat excited too, in that moment it was decided.

The marauders, though perhaps they didnt know quite yet, had formed a bond, and nothing was going to break it.

Not even Remus's secret.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that turned out a lot longer than I thought XD. The sorting was meant to happen this chapter, but oh well! Please drop a comment if you enjoyed. Thanks! ❤  
> -Fangirl_Avenger


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